Exposed

darkness-as-me

After a long, tiring week, it was finally the weekend again. It was a relaxing Sunday evening, and I was sitting beside the window with a cup of strong coffee – alone. The cool evening breeze was taking away the lingering sensation of heat emitting from the ground. I just laid back in comfortable position and just then my inner conscious (I name it X, always) started a conversation…..

  • Enjoying the evening Nemo?
  • Yes… At least trying..
  • You are not happy Nemo?
  • Why should I X? What has happened so amusing lately?
  • You look disheartened for some reason.. Why Nemo?
  • I…. Well, I feel vulnerable X – seems I got no place to hide.
  • But why do you want to hide?
  • I am afraid to be exposed… You know, I never want to show anyone who I am in true sense. But there are situations where you can’t always control yourself.
  • You feel insecure?
  • Yeah.. It seems that exposing my real character may get me in trouble..
  • Such as?
  • Every person has got some weaknesses, so have I. And I don’t think making weaknesses public is a right thing to do. Not every people around you are nice, right?
  • Look Nemo, you are a human being right? Don’t expect you will behave like a programmed robot, even if you think to do so !!
  • Yes, I understand. But you know, I put up a cold, stone-like character outside but I am an emotional fellow inside. When someone succeeds to melt my heart, my defense breaks. And I have suffered a heavy blow once for that – pretty badly. That scar will never heal.
  • I understand and empathize with you Nemo… But frankly, do you think you can live your whole life under cover?
  • No.. Probably not… But I try? Shouldn’t I? But you know X this “putting up a poker face” pains my heart..
  • True… But frankly, logically, I myself can’t suggest a better way out for this. You got one way out though – write.
  • That’s what I am doing now, X… It gives me exposure to vent my feelings, but lets me stay under cover as well… I don’t know if this is a weakness, but I can’t help it..
  • …..
  • X?
  • Yeah… I guess I can’t suggest you a better way out.. Because sometimes the boring brain has got to be paid attention as well, setting aside the heart…. Sigh..

Exposed

7 thoughts on “Exposed

  1. Yes you are absolutely right… Exposing everything is stupid and sometimes causes harm…
    I am a very reserved fellow and always maintain a safe “high radiation zone” around me. Very rarely I have been caught off guard, and those rare instances are mostly bad experiences for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I will be very glad if it really helps someone to deal with this inner conflict. That will certainly give a meaning to what I write. 😊
    Thanks.. 💐💐

    Liked by 1 person

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